Declaration of Independence
(01)VESNA Agency is an autonomous center of the universe, with its own flag, anthem, and logo. The internal policies of the Agency are aimed at creating conditions for a dignified life and the free development of its employees.
(02)The sovereignty of VESNA Agency extends across its entire territory, including the kitchen and the doormat at the entrance.
(03)VESNA Agency is a secular institution. No religion may be declared official or mandatory. Mocking the Society of Pink Elephants — to which our programmers belong — is strictly prohibited.
(04)Any activity aimed at violently disrupting the integrity of VESNA Agency, undermining its security, forming armed groups, or inciting social, racial, national, or religious hatred is forbidden.
(05)The Agency guarantees equal rights and freedoms for all employees regardless of gender, race, nationality, language, background, financial or job status, religion, beliefs, operating system, hair length, opinions about the latest Kanye West album, body piercings, or any other factors.
(06)At VESNA Agency, men, women, cats, and managers all have equal rights, freedoms, and opportunities.
(07)No employee of VESNA Agency shall be subjected to torture, violence, defragmentation, archiving, suspension by a rib, or any other cruel or degrading treatment or punishment. No one shall be subjected to medical, scientific, or any other experimentation without voluntary consent.
(08)Employees of VESNA Agency have the right to peacefully assemble without weapons, including meetings, hangouts, jam sessions, parties, brainstorms, rallies, demonstrations, marches, and picketing.
(09)Collecting, storing, using, or sharing personal information about an employee’s private life without their consent is not allowed. Likewise, VESNA Agency expects loyalty in return and strongly requests that personal or internal information not be shared outside the Agency. If something is bothering you, you're encouraged to speak directly with leadership — they’ll do their best to help.
(10)Every employee at VESNA Agency has the right to a personal computer connected to the global international internet. A chair, desk lamp, and a box of cookies are also included.
(11)Every employee has the right to food. This includes the right to one-hour lunch breaks, free coffee, access to hot water from the kettle, utensils, a refrigerator, and seconds.
(12)No employee of VESNA Agency may be smeared with toothpaste while sleeping at their desk.
(13)Every employee has the right to work 12-, 14-, or 16-hour days — but only if they wish. Six-day workweeks are also allowed, upon request. Night shifts? Also your call.
(14)Every employee has the right to a high salary, paid in full and on time. You are free to share your salary info with third parties — but only once. After that, VESNA Agency will automatically have one fewer employee.
(15)Every employee is welcome to participate in brainstorms and team hangouts, and to speak freely without fear.
(16)Each team member may customize their workspace to match their professional, religious, or aesthetic preferences.
(17)Need a Zip drive, ergonomic keyboard, green floppy disks, a dot matrix printer, a poster of Angelina Jolie, or a radiation-blocking cactus? Just file a request — all necessary equipment will be provided at the Agency’s expense.
(18)Employees are expected to treat company property and their coworkers’ belongings with respect. Mugs and teaspoons must not be taken for exclusive personal use. Need to borrow a CD or a toothpick? Ask the owner directly. People rarely say no.
(19)VESNA Agency was founded by people who are allergic to bureaucracy and corporate nonsense. That’s why employees — regardless of age, experience, or background — move through the office like brothers and sisters: with respect, but without formality. Short haircuts, piercings, bandanas, provocative t-shirts, pom-pom slippers, tattoos, all forms of self-expression — all welcome.
(20)Being a VESNA Agency employee is a badge of honor. It sets the gold standard. And the Agency has the right to expect professionalism — always, everywhere, and in everything.